What about self-esteem?

There are several terms that are used as synonyms by most people. To discuss self-esteem, I'm going to first clarify some of these terms. Then, I will answer the question in terms of non-dualism.

Self-esteem: To esteem means to place value. Thus, this term denotes the degree to which you value your self. Self-esteem is natural; everyone is born with self-esteem. However, we can lose sight of it by believing lies about what makes us valuable. For example, if you believe that you are only valuable if you are good at sports, you will lose sight of your value, and your self-esteem will seem to diminish.

Self-confidence: This trait is NOT inborn. We are not born with confidence, because confidence means optimism connected with action. In other words, you feel relatively certain that you can carry out an activity with a good chance of success. Already, you can see why clarifying the terms is important. In the example above, a child is taught that value comes from sport ability, not just from being born. Thus, self-confidence is mistaken for self-esteem, and BOTH suffer. Self-esteem is something you're born with; self-confidence is something you must develop. They are related; but not synonymous.

Self-image: An image is how you see something. Thus, your self-image is what you think your 'self' is and how you believe this self fits into everything else. (Interesting that the word 'image' is used. . . meaning a visual representation of something real, but not reality in and of itself!)

Self-concept:  A concept is an idea. This term means the idea of what you think your self is, and why you think it exists, and what you think its abilities are.

Now, to non-dualism. The entire 'original sin' or 'fall from grace' or whatever you want to call it, was actually caused by refusing to accept our Self as It was created. Our True Self is an extension of the Eternal. It is a Creation of God, if you will. It is included in the Oneness, Perfection, Innocence, Eternalness, and Power of God.

But, there is one (meaningless) difference: God is That Which Has Always Been. We, on the other hand, were created. We had a beginning. We began with God. This difference doesn't matter, but once we believed it DID matter, we made judgment, separation, sin, guilt, fear. . . all the things that form the foundation of this universe.

This also made God seem like an enemy.

Since we were refusing to accept our Self, we made an 'image' of a self. A separate, self-contained, little particle in the universe. All alone. Drawing near to others, but never quite uniting. Keeping fear at bay, but never quite overcoming it. Learning to do some things, but not existing long enough to gain all abilities.

No wonder we have so much conflict centered around self! Non-dualism's answer? Begin to consider that your concept of self may be mistaken. Perhaps you have been wrongly taught. Perhaps you don't truly know what you are, who you are, why you are, where you are, etc. This can be unsettling. But admitting that you don't know something is the first step of the process of learning.

The next step?

ASK!

ASK what you are. Who you are. Why you are. Where you are. How you are.

As you ASK, don't try to supply the answers yourself. Just try to open your mind to the answers as they come. And they will come, I assure you. They will come in a way that is just perfect for your current level of understanding, and your current view of self.

As you gain more answers, you will be able to revise and clarify your self-concept. And as your self-concept comes back into focus, your self-esteem will be back in your awareness, too. You will begin to release your grip on self-image (and ALL images!) as you realize that an image can never take the place of the Real Deal! And even your self-confidence will improve as you take your place in the process of the Return to Reality.

This process is beyond the grasp of psychology, or any other system of thought invented by the human race.

TRY it!

ASK.

NOW.