What about our relationships?
Like everything in human experience, relationships begin and continue as devices of ego. Separate, limited beings trying to communicate some thoughts while keeping others private. Attempting to interact with each other while still reserving some time and space that is 'just mine.' Relationships can get quite messy and ugly, as we have all seen and experienced, and yet we are continually attracted to them. (Note: There are some humans that seem to not want relationships with other humans; but they still want relationships with something. . . pets, possessions, nature, career, activities, etc.) Relationships are not just attractive to us, but they are also seeming sources of fear. We feel fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being left alone, etc. Human relationships have beginnings, phases, transitions, and (usually) endings. The very long description in this paragraph should clearly demonstrate that relationships are firmly in the realm of ego.
That's the bad news. The GOOD news is that relationships (like any other ego device) can be offered to Spirit for reinterpretation. When we do this, the tool of ego becomes the instrument of Spirit, leading us back to Reality and Oneness.
Though any illusion here can be thus utilized, relationships are particularly effective. Here's why. First, we are very attracted to them and feel very compelled to 'get' relationships. From a very young age, we want to collect family, friends, comrades, colleagues, partners, lovers, spouses, etc. Most of us collect a great many (seemingly) different relationships with many (seemingly) different people. As with all ego devices, the differences initially seem more important than the similarities, the form seems more important than the content. Then, somewhere along the way, something in the relationship doesn't meet our expectations or requirements. (With separate individuals, this is bound to happen!) Often, it's something minor that we can overlook or work out with dialogue and compromise. But, eventually, something is going to surface that gets labeled a MAJOR problem. Oh, no! An obstacle, a roadblock! Well, now we have a decision to make. Do we TRY to work together and reach a solution? Or do we angrily and fearfully reject the other person and run for the hills? Major problems in relationships often boil down to ego's characteristic fork in the road: "Should I stay or should I go?"
A great book I've been studying recently calls such false dichotomies "The Sucker's Choice." Ego is masterful at making a problem distill down to two choices, both undesirable. In relationships, often we reach a point where staying with the other person seems horrible, but leaving seems awful, too. And in these moments, we forget there is another choice.
We can ASK to see the relationship differently. As soon as we express willingness to surrender our own separate paradigm, and have a new one taught to us, Spirit, at last unfettered, can enter the relationship and bless it with Vision. When your view of the problematical relationship is changed, usually the result is so dramatic that the lesson stays with you. It's quite miraculous. Even if the outer form of the relationship doesn't change, a reframing thought can do amazing and startling things.
Each time we do this, each time we ASK for more vision, more light, more understanding, and each time we willingly accept the vision, light, and understanding that comes as a result of our ASKing, we become more likely to do it again. And again. And again. The learning curve has begun. The snowball is rolling. Ego's grip is loosened, Spirit makes inroads, and we begin the journey back to our Home.
That's the bad news. The GOOD news is that relationships (like any other ego device) can be offered to Spirit for reinterpretation. When we do this, the tool of ego becomes the instrument of Spirit, leading us back to Reality and Oneness.
Though any illusion here can be thus utilized, relationships are particularly effective. Here's why. First, we are very attracted to them and feel very compelled to 'get' relationships. From a very young age, we want to collect family, friends, comrades, colleagues, partners, lovers, spouses, etc. Most of us collect a great many (seemingly) different relationships with many (seemingly) different people. As with all ego devices, the differences initially seem more important than the similarities, the form seems more important than the content. Then, somewhere along the way, something in the relationship doesn't meet our expectations or requirements. (With separate individuals, this is bound to happen!) Often, it's something minor that we can overlook or work out with dialogue and compromise. But, eventually, something is going to surface that gets labeled a MAJOR problem. Oh, no! An obstacle, a roadblock! Well, now we have a decision to make. Do we TRY to work together and reach a solution? Or do we angrily and fearfully reject the other person and run for the hills? Major problems in relationships often boil down to ego's characteristic fork in the road: "Should I stay or should I go?"
A great book I've been studying recently calls such false dichotomies "The Sucker's Choice." Ego is masterful at making a problem distill down to two choices, both undesirable. In relationships, often we reach a point where staying with the other person seems horrible, but leaving seems awful, too. And in these moments, we forget there is another choice.
We can ASK to see the relationship differently. As soon as we express willingness to surrender our own separate paradigm, and have a new one taught to us, Spirit, at last unfettered, can enter the relationship and bless it with Vision. When your view of the problematical relationship is changed, usually the result is so dramatic that the lesson stays with you. It's quite miraculous. Even if the outer form of the relationship doesn't change, a reframing thought can do amazing and startling things.
Each time we do this, each time we ASK for more vision, more light, more understanding, and each time we willingly accept the vision, light, and understanding that comes as a result of our ASKing, we become more likely to do it again. And again. And again. The learning curve has begun. The snowball is rolling. Ego's grip is loosened, Spirit makes inroads, and we begin the journey back to our Home.
posted by AWB @ 2/06/2011 06:32:00 AM
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